week 44
let’s pause and celebrate
I woke up after a good night’s sleep this morning, and frequently it’s on these well-rested and lazy Saturday mornings that I can let my mind wonder and land on a truth. My truth this morning is that my hardest years are usually the ones where I grow the most. My hardest years are also the ones that I’m impatient to have end, the ones where I feel like I can’t catch a break, and the ones where I have the hardest time stopping and reflecting on how much has gone right. Because my hardest years are the ones where I feel totally out of control, and the ones where I find my way back to myself not out of pleasure, but out of necessity.
This year was one of my hardest years, yet thinking about how far I’ve come since November of last year or even the beginning of 2024 is remarkable. In facing the magnitude of everything outside of my control (the election, pregnancy, other people’s independent decision-making), I have been able to see what is within my control and fully embrace it— and act on it. Ironically, feeling so out of control (a.k.a. not immediately getting what I want), I have reclaimed my sense of autonomy and agency to act in alignment with my true desires.
When the outcomes of actions seem to be the same and not change, it can be easy to feel stuck and hard to realize all of the positive changes that are happening, even though the positive changes are compounding and moving the needle toward the tipping point of the ultimate outcomes in our best interest. So in my continuous journey of the self-help books, podcasts, healthy cookbooks, new habit formation, writing and career work, I am going to take a moment to celebrate what I have already accomplished this year:
I have radically shifted my relationship to failure, and have faced a lot of my fears
I have joined a wonderful writer’s group of beautiful people
Though I am always wishing I had more time and energy to write, I have actually written two new scripts that I am excited about rewriting
I have gotten information about my overall health and have been shown ways I can improve it
I have been honest in my place of employment and with my employers about what I can and cannot/ will and will not/ want and do not want to do
I have allowed myself to feel, move through, and move past old resentments
I have become kinder to myself
I have become kinder to others
I have become a better friend, daughter, wife
I have become less reactive
I helped host a family reunion without losing my s***, even when people didn’t behave like I wished or expected they would
I have taken ownership of my part in getting to where I am
I have owned my story, even the less-than-pretty parts
I have helped write letters and postcards to voters in swing states
I have helped pass out sample ballots and voting information
I have used the silent mantra “I love you and you love me” on people I haven’t enjoyed and as a result, could appreciate them
I have said no to things I haven’t wanted to do
I have mostly stuck to the “put on your oxygen mask before helping others” principle of helping
I have discovered the beautiful, calming and joyful Martha Beck
I have accepted the uncertainty of the future while owning my part in helping to shape my future, and have found peace as a result
I believe that better times are just around the corner, and that belief is buoyed by all the work that I have done this year, which I probably wouldn’t have done as frequently or effectively or deeply had it been an easier year. As all the research shows, positive self-talk and praise is much more effective in shaping behavior and creating positive change. So let’s celebrate our growth together and continue our momentum forward!